Tell me yours.

To the guy I've been saving my Shakey's-treat-to-friends for, I've a lot to tell and ask you.

Now, the basic question would be: 

What happened?

What happened to us?

What happened to you?

What is now happening?

and

What will happen sooner or later?

Funny how I'm able to type all these words, cause I'm on petiks mode this day. haha!

Anyway..

I have no idea if you happen to pass by my blog cause I discreetly post links of certain blog posts on some of my FB posts. But if you happen to know that this blog exists, then I'm glad that you at least know my thoughts. But if not, it doesn't matter; I just want to blurt this all out.

I really do not know for sure what we had before, if ever we had something; no, I'm certain that there was something but I'm not sure what it was. Those few BIG efforts that you'd put in doesn't make it a just friends situation. Do I sound assuming here? Probably yes, but it's just because you admitted to me more than once that you like me. I shouldn't be hanging on to you this long for just liking me. But you struck me with I-don't-know-what-it-is-but-it-sure-struck-deep-within-me. 

Hobby mo ba ang mag-paraya?

You always seem to make way to those guys who like me...but if only you knew, I'd choose you over them. I don't know if that's the case with a certain guy best friend of mine; it's frustrating thinking that you might make way for him! NO, STOP IT, DON'T.

Lately, I've been daydreaming about you surprising me with a bouquet of flowers--probably finishing my then 18Roses where you were supposed to be the Last Dance. Okay, so this statement is an obvious one.

But all my hatred started there. You left me hanging for no apparent reason. Was I that not worth an explanation? Back then, I was just hungry for your words, your explanations and all. You deprived me of that. And I despised you for that. I was all in anger and bitterness whenever I would see you and hear your name--I just couldn't show it, I pretended to not care. But eventually, after more than a year, I got over all my bitterness and I forgave you already. It took me more than a year to achieve that fucking peace of mind. And I'm trying to forget what you did.

Then one day we met. And you smiled at me. Fuck you--I was happy for that reconciliation but at the same time I'm confused. I'll be thinking that probably because I was then newly-singled that we can now interact with each other again. Yes, that's a valid reason. And we interacted like nothing happened those months that I lost you. Fuck that. Couldn't you still say a thing? You were a gentleman enough to wait for my single-ness before communicating with me but you weren't man enough to explain. 

I'm over that. I'm just really bothered with how you ask for my number just so you could ask if I know this and that. I had my hopes high when you asked my number. Stupid girl.

I won't make this longer. My story has been told too many times to friends. Tell me yours...